Soon-to-be-former Washington Redskin, Albert Haynesworth, is really trying folks…really trying is level best to get thrown in prison.  Over the past several months, it seems that breaking the law is about the only thing “Fat Albert” can do right.  His latest attempt was the alleged sexual assault of a waitress.  He slid his credit card through her cleavage and then fondled her breasts.

A grand jury returned an indictment formally charging Haynesworth over the alleged incident at a downtown Washington hotel in the early hours of Feb. 13. If convicted, the 29-year-old two-time All-Pro faces up to six months in jail and a fine of up to $1,000.

According to the U.S. attorney’s office, the government’s evidence shows Haynesworth slid a credit card down the front of the server’s dress and fondled her breast.

Haynesworth’s attorney, A. Scott Bolden, called the charge disappointing and regretful and said it would be a difficult case for the government to prove. Haynesworth is innocent and several witnesses would vouch that the alleged conduct never happened, Bolden said.

“We maintain his innocence, and now the fight begins,” Bolden said.

Herein lies the problem, folks.  It’s always a fight with “Fat Albert.”  Whether between himself and his coaches, himself and the police, or just a helpless waitress just trying to do her job, Haynesworth has to fight.  Well, in the clink, I here you can fight all you want.  So much for that football career he used to have.

[PhotoSource: The Huffington Post]

Could this man be a bigger douchebag?

If you find it difficult to appreciate Washington Redskins’ owner Daniel Snyder from afar, just imagine what it’s like to be an actual fan of the team;  the endless petty stupidity, the ridiculous free agent contracts that never seem to pan out, and the guarantees that “this year” the Redskins are going to the playoffs.  Well, file this one in the “petty stupidity” drawer.

Apparently, the Washington Redskins want the Washington Post – a publication fundamental to spreading the word about the hometown team – to stop using the team’s name.  According to Paul Farhi of the Washington Post:

For many years, the “Redskins” name was used freely in the titles of local sports highlight shows on TV and radio. No longer. The team put an end to the practice several years ago, now only permitting “authorized” uses of its name — that is, under contractual agreement. Comcast SportsNet is the “official” TV network of the team, for example, and airs a highlight program called “Redskins Nation” hosted by Larry Michael, a broadcaster who is an employee of the team. At the same time, the Redskins produce a half-dozen interview and promotional TV shows through the team-owned Redskins Broadcast Network. The programs air on local stations during the football season.

The Redskins recently asked The Washington Post to rename the newspaper’s video webcast and blog about the team, which was called “Redskins Insider,” according to people who have knowledge of the circumstances. The team had used the name “Redskins Insider” first, and The Post agreed to switch to “Football Insider.”

To be sure, the current Washington football team has every right to protect its brand.  However, coming down on publications that spread that brand around in a way that might attract new fans and sponsors is short-sighted at best.  Yes, there is the issue of controlling what is said and how your franchise is portrayed, however, the former Redskins Insider has never written anything negative about the team, according to Chris Chase:

Redskins Insider is a news blog. It rarely dabbles in opinion, focusing more on the day-to-day business of the team from a traditional reporting standpoint. The last three posts have been about players planning group workouts, the lockout’s trickle-down effect and who Mel Kiper Jr. thinks the team will select with the No. 10 pick in the draft. Even the posts about Albert Haynesworth are written without condescension and ridicule. There are plenty of targets out there for the Redskins to complain about. This wasn’t one of them.

Then again, Daniel Snyder is an idiot.  So take that for what it’s worth.

[PhotoSource: Business Insider]

You gotta be kidding me.  It appears Washington Redskins defensive lineman “Fat” Albert Haynesworth is in trouble with the law…again.  Hayneworth is being accused sexually assaulting a waitress who works at a W Hotel in DC.  According to CBS News:

Police are investigating, and the U.S. Attorney’s office will determine if any charges can be brought against the troubled Haynesworth.

Said Haynesworth’s agent, Chad Speck, in a statement to NBC Washington: “There seems to be no truth to these allegations.  We are currently evaluating facts and considering our own legal action against those involved.”

Last month Haynesworth was charged with ’simple assault’ involving a road rage incident.  I guess “Fat” Albert is climbing the felony ladder until he finally hits the big time.  At this rate, he’ll be up to first degree murder by June.

We call him “Fat” Albert here not just because of his girth, but because of his complete lack of cooperation with his employer regarding his job and his lazy attitude toward doing anything to help his team.  Now, it seems there must be some other issues cropping up in Haynesworth life for him to start racking up charges like this.  It’s probably time for a little introspection…before Albert kills someone.

Washington Redskins punt returner Brandon Banks has been stabbed.  Banks played in the three final games of the 2010 season.

NBC 4 in Washington reports that Redskins punt returner Brandon Banks has been hospitalized after his involvement in a double stabbing early Saturday morning. Banks is said to be in stable condition with superficial knife wounds.

Police say an argument broke out around 3:00 a.m. at a 14th Street NW club. The argument escalated into a fight, which escalated into a stabbing. A suspect, who is now in custody, attacked Banks and Banks’ companion. That companion is reportedly in critical condition.

Recent reports state that Banks has been released from the hospital.  There’s no word on his companion at this time.

[Photo Source: The Washington Post]

So, it appears that “Fat” Albert Haynesworth is not only lazy, but has anger management issues as well.  The Washington Redskin’s “unmotivated” defensive lineman found himself in an altercation on the road recently and has been charged with ’simple assault’.  According to the Huffington Post:

Fairfax County police spokeswoman Shelley Broderick says a 38-year-old man told investigators he was driving a Honda Civic in suburban Washington when he saw a pickup truck tailgating him. The man says the driver then made a hand gesture.

Broderick says Haynesworth, who was driving the truck, got out when the vehicles stopped and assaulted the other driver.

Broderick says police have been in touch with Haynesworth’s attorney. She says arrangements have been made for him to meet with officers and appear in Fairfax County General District Court at a later date.

Redskins team officials say they are gathering more information regarding the incident, but that they’d have no further comment on the matter.  Perhaps they aim to handle this ‘in-house’.  Unfortunately, it’s been quite obvious that the Redskins haven’t been able to handle Haynesworth in-house as of late.  “Fat” Albert is looking more and more like an incredibly expensive busted purchase on owner Dan Syder’s credit card.

[Source: Huffington Post]

As fans, we’re always hoping our teams will gamble just at the right time.  We’re constantly rooting for coaches to ‘go for it’ on 4th and short almost any time our favorite offense creeps over the other teams’ 50 yard line.  It’s in our nature…we’re fans, as excited about the potential for championship glory as any actual player or coach.  And in this two week down time between conference championships and the Super Bowl – I won’t count the Pro-Bowl here – even lukewarm fans are choosing sides and hoping to see high flying, gun slinging, riverboat betting antics on February 6th.

According to Vic Carucci at NFL.com, the Super Bowl tends to reward teams that take chances.  And Carucci sets the losers aside and takes a look at eight of the greatest gambles – that paid off – in NFL History:

No one saw it coming. Not the 74,059 fans in Miami’s Sun Life Stadium. Not the millions watching on television. And, certainly, not the Indianapolis Colts. It came off exactly as its name, “The Ambush,” implies it should.

The New Orleans Saints truly blindsided the unsuspecting Colts when they opened the second half of Super Bowl XLIV with an onside kick. They recovered the ball and quickly turned a halftime deficit into a 13-10 lead. Although they would fall behind again, the play provided the momentum boost necessary to carry the Saints to a 31-17 victory and their first Super Bowl championship.

And here are some others – quite a few in recent memory – that make the list:

The Washington Redskins‘ fourth-and-1 handoff to John Riggins that resulted in a 43-yard gallop to the end zone, the pivotal score in their 27-17 triumph over the Miami Dolphins in Super Bowl XVII.

The New York Giants’ flea-flicker that produced a 44-yard gain and set up a touchdown to open the flood gates in their 39-20 victory over the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XXI.

The Giants’ decision to use only two defensive linemen, essentially daring the Buffalo Bills to run, an approach that was key to their 20-19 victory in Super Bowl XXV.

The New England Patriots choosing to go for the win with a young quarterback named Tom Brady — rather than playing it safe and going to overtime — in the final moments of their 20-17 upset of the St. Louis Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI.

The Steelers using wide receiver Antwaan Randle El to throw a fourth-quarter touchdown pass off a reverse in their 21-10 win over the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XL.

Carucci includes Former Kansas City Chiefs’ coach Hank Stram’s use of kicker Jan Stenerud and the legendary “65 Toss Power Trap” play in Super Bowl IV and Chuck Noll’s decision to run on 4th and 9 with 1:29 left in the game against the Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl X.

Now, this is an impressive list.  However, Noll could have punted on 4th and 9, pinning the Cowboys deep.  Instead, the got the ball on the 39 yard line.  He actually put the Steelers in a worse position with that gamble.  That Steelers’ free safety Glen Edwards intercepted Roger Staubach a few plays later has little to do with the 4th down call.  I suppose Noll thought, since Dallas was out of timeouts, running 30 more seconds off the clock was more important.

I take serious issue with Carucci’s idea that using a young Tom Brady – with the score tied 17-17, 1:20 left in Super Bowl XXXVI – to move his team into field goal position against the Rams was ‘gutsy’.  Isn’t that what your quarterback is supposed to do?  Even if Brady were a rookie at the time, all he did was dink and dunk the ball to receivers who had the presence of mind to get out of bounds.  Playing for overtime is rarely, if ever, a good decision.  Playing to ‘win the game’, as Herm Edwards famously said, is how you play in the NFL.

Well, there you go.  A trip down memory lane; a couple of controversial plays; everything a good top 10, er, 8 list needs to stir up the fan in all of us.  I wonder what kind of gambles this year’s game has in store.

[Source: WIRED]

It happens every season.  There are a few chuckle heads in the NFL who think they can get away with driving under the influence.  Often, these players are starters with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement.  Last night, however, recently-activated-from-the-practice-squad-player Joe Joseph of the Washington Redskins was nabbed for joy-riding while drunk.  TMZ has Joseph’s mugshot right here.

Obviously, he was just celebrating Washington’s win over the Jacksonville Jaguars.  But guys who barely make the team don’t get to make mistakes like this.  So it should be interesting to see how the Redskins organization – not to mention the NFL – decides to discipline the 325 lb defensive tackle.

[Source: Rotoworld]

The race for the playoffs in the AFC cleared considerably on Sunday as several teams clinched spots.  The New York Jets – who lost to the Chicago Bears 38-34, foot fetishes and all – fell in backwards by virtue of a loss by the Jacksonville Jaguars to the Washington Redskins 20-17.  The Baltimore Ravens wrapped up a spot by beating the Cleveland Browns 20-10.  And the Kansas City Chiefs clinched the AFC West Division title by beating the Tennessee Titans 34-14 and getting some help from Cincinnati.  The Bengals upset the San Diego Chargers 34-20, eliminating the Chiefs’ remaining divisional competition.

The remaining spot is the 4th seed, currently being contested by the Jaguars and the Indianapolis Colts in the AFC South.  If the Colts win, they’re in.  If they stumble against the Titans at home and the Jaguars beat the Houston Texans on the road, Jacksonville wins the division.  But today’s loss to the Redskins likely blew the Jaguars’ last, best chance.  It looks like the Colts will again own that division just as it has for what seems like the last quarter century or so.

The New England Patriots, who clinched a playoff berth a couple of weeks ago, have secured home field advantage throughout the playoffs with a 34-3 win over the Buffalo Bills.  That’s right, the road to the Superbowl goes through Foxboro…again.  Is anyone else really tired of the Patriots, or is it just me?

[Source: The Bleacher Report]

Cleveland Browns (5-8) at Cinncinnati Bengals (2-11)

Backed by a power running game featuring the surprising Peyton Hillis and a decent passing game with rookie quarterback Colt McCoy, the Browns have turned a miserable start to the 2010 season into what may very well be a mediocre finish.  That’s a lot more than can be said for the Bengals, whose star free agent receiver TO has been blaming the coaching staff for their lousy record.  The Bengals are done.  The Browns still have something to prove. Browns 24, Bengals 17

Washington Redskins (5-8) at Dallas Cowboys (4-9)

The Cowboys have shown they have way too much talent to be as bad as they looked the first six weeks of the season.  Sure, they lost to Philadelphia at home last week, but there’s nothing about the Eagles that remotely resembles the bumbling Redskins.  Any team that has to bench Donovan McNabb for Rex Grossman is in serious trouble.  If the Redskins finish the season any better than 5-11, it would be a minor miracle.  Cowboys 28, Redskins 17

Houston Texans (5-8) at Tennessee Titans (5-8)

Both of these teams had promising starts.  The Texans took down Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts and the Titans routed the Oakland Raiders.  But for the past 5 weeks or so it’s mostly been downhill for these clubs.  At this point, neither one is threatening to win the AFC South.  The Texans, however, still seem to care about their season.  Vince Young is out in Tennessee.  Chris Johnson’s quest for 2,500 yards rushing is looking more and more like a bad joke.  And in the NFL, rule #213 is this; never bet on Kerry Collins as your starting quarterback.  Texans 28, Titans 20

Jacksonville Jaguars (8-5) at Indianapolis Colts (7-6)

Unlike Texans v. Titans, this one is probably for all the marbles in the AFC South.  If the Jaguars win, they will likely take the division, given their two game lead and very winnable games in weeks 16 and 17 (vs Washington and at Houston).  If the Colts win, however, they hold the tiebreaker over the Jaguars with games at Oakland and vs Tennessee.  Unfortunately for the Jags, their not the San Diego Chargers.  Manning will pull this one out, but Jacksonville will keep it close. Colts 28, Jaguars 24

Buffalo Bills (3-10) at Miami Dolphins (7-6)

Miami still has a shot at the playoffs (with some help) and it all starts here.  Figuring out how to win a game at home would help.  The Bills aren’t really as bad as their record would indicate, but they have trouble moving the ball against good defenses.  If Chad Henne can have an efficient game,  they Dolphins should handle the Bills.  If the Bills find a way to win this one, the Dolphins’ playoff hopes are officially ’squished’.  Dolphins 20, Bills 17

Philadelphia Eagles (9-4) at New York Giants (9-4)

Okay, this game is one to get excited about.  Michael Vick and DeSean Jackson against a stout Giants’ defense with a game lead in the NFC East on the line should be enough to get any football fan jazzed.  Both teams will make the playoffs, but this game could mean the difference between a third seed division champion and a sixth seed wild card.  If the Giants take this one, they not only grab a one game lead but the tiebreaker as well.  The Eagles have extremely winnable games at home against Minnesota and Dallas to finish the season.  The Giants still have to go to Green Bay.  I think it’s safe to say whomoever wins this game takes the division.  The Giant’s will find a way to slow down Vick, but it’s almost a pick ‘em. Giants 27, Eagles 24

Detroit Lions (3-10) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-5)

Prediction: The Lions will be good…one day…within the next decade.  Given Detroit’s history, I’d say that’s a bold prognostication.  Sadly, that doesn’t help them this season.  Tampa Bay, though still hard to figure out, is playing well behind quarterback Josh Freeman.  Eh, well, at least the Lions will be in good draft position in 2011…again. Buccaneers 28, Lions 20

Arizona Cardinals (4-9) at Carolina Panthers (1-12)

Look, at one time this season, Arizona had some say in the NFC West divisional race.  Not anymore.  Face it, if you’re not a fan of one of these teams, you really don’t care anyway.  Ah, what the hell. Panthers 44, Cardinals 17

New Orleans Saints (10-3) at Baltimore Ravens (9-4)

The Saints have found ways to win on the road and the Ravens have shown that their defense is not as dominating as in seasons past.  But it’s still very good.  After an incredibly emotional win last Monday night, though, the Ravens will find it difficult to keep up with the New Orleans and a pass-happy Drew Brees.  The Saints will find a way to hold off Ray Lewis and the boys, and Joe Flacco will have a tough time with the Big Easy’s defense.  But if the Ravens can get their running game going, they could just beat the NFC’s second best team. Saints 24, Ravens 20

Altanta Falcons (11-2) at Seattle Seahawks (6-7)

The NFC’s best team takes on the division leading Seahawks.  Too bad that division is the NFC West.  Seattle has a beautiful stadium with a great game day atmosphere, lots of crowd noise and Tom Skerrit It won’t be enough.  The ‘Hawks will put up a good fight, though…just before they get trounced.  Lucky for them, somebody in the NFC West is going to win it with a 7-9 record.  Ugh! Falcons 31, Seahawks 17

Denver Broncos (3-10) at Oakland Raiders (6-7)

The AFC West has become a two-horse race, but the Raiders can still make the playoffs if they win out, San Diego loses one of it’s two remaining games and Kansas City loses one of theirs – that’s not including the game the Chiefs would have to lose to Oakland in week 17.  Yeah…good luck with all that.  Denver is beyond bad and is currently paying TWO head coaches, neither of which actually work for the team anymore.  Oh, and Tim Teabow is starting in place of an injured Kyle Orton – they guy who has produced 90% of the Broncos’ touchdowns this season.  It won’t be the 59-14 spanking that Oakland laid on Denver back in October, but the Raiders should win this one handily. Raiders 27, Broncos 10

New York Jets (9-4) at Pittsburgh Steelers (10-3)

Three weeks ago, this would have been a great game.  But the last two weeks the Jets have scored a total of 9 points, and quarterback Matt Sanchez has looked more like a clueless rookie that a franchise player.  Pittsburgh’s home-field advantage is just too big.  And unless the Jets can figure out a way to win a game without using their coaches to trip opposing players, New York will be sitting at 9-5 by Sunday evening.  It won’t be ugly, but it ain’t gonna be very pretty, either. Steelers 24, Jets 17

Chicago Bears (9-4) at Somewhere in Minnesota Vikings (5-8)

Assuming the field is ready, the Vikings will host the Bears to Minnesota’s 9th loss.  Brett Favre probably won’t start, but does anyone really care anymore?  The streak, and Favre’s career with the Vikings, is over.  It is really time they both moved on.  In their defense, the Vikings have shown a little fight over the past 5 or 6 weeks, but the 2010 season has been an abyssmal failure for a team that finished 12-4 in ‘09.  The Bears are surprisingly good given the fact that most people thought Jay Cutler sucked. Bears 28, Vikings 20

Kansas City Chiefs (8-5) at St. Louis Rams (6-7)

It’s the battle for the Governor’s Cup in the Show-Me-State.  That’s Missouri, by the way.  I could tell you were wondering.  Both teams lead their respective divisions and have been nothing less than pleasant surprises for their fans.  Rookie Quarterback Sam Bradford has done wonders for the Rams and Matt Cassel – before his appendectomy – was on a pro-bowl pace, winning AFC Offensive Player of the Month for November.  The Rams have played well at home but they’re catching the Chiefs at a bad time – one week after an embarassing shut-out at the hands of the San Diego Chargers.  Look for the Chiefs to be focused and get the job done.  Of course, if Brodie Croyle is in at quarterback again, all bets are off.  The Chiefs will probably win this one, but not by a lot. Chiefs 27, Rams 21

Green Bay Packers (8-5) at New England Patriots (11-2)

Okay, am I the only football fan who is officially sick of the Patriots.  It must be nice to draw the Packers at Foxboro just when their starting pro-bowl caliber quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, is out.  Green Bay still has a strong defense led by linebacker Clay Matthews, but it probably won’t be enough to beat the home team.  Tom Brady continues to look like Superman in a football helmet, leading the league in TD passes with 29 while tossing only 4 picks.  It makes me urp up a little to say it, but the Pats will win another one on Sunday. Patriots 31, Packers 24

[Source: Dotsperiod]

This is the same McNabb that was benched two games ago, during the game’s last two-minutes, in favor of the horrific Rex Grossman.

McNabb has $78 million more reasons now to not be upset with head coach Mike Shanahan or the Skins.

The Redskins are akin to just tossing money away though. (see Albert Haynesworth)